Reminder #2 Womanhood is a Journey, not a Destination!

 

When you think of the word woman, what comes to mind? A little girl playing with Barbies? An old lady in a purple cardigan and pearls? Or someone in between those two extremes—a young adult figuring out what’s next in her life? A woman is dynamic, complex, and mysterious. She can also be intelligent, funny, sensitive, giving, and almost any other adjective. As a woman, you must maintain strength when facing challenges while embracing your vulnerability to connect with others. You may not always feel like a woman - or even know precisely what that means - but here are some thoughts on how to embrace your inherent womanhood at every stage of life.

Don’t wait to feel like a “real woman” to start living.

There’s no definition of what it means to be a woman or live like a woman. As a child, you may have been taught that being a woman means growing up, getting married, and having kids. And when you get older, you might believe that becoming a grandmother means you’ve reached the pinnacle of your womanhood. But what if you don’t want a family? Or you don’t want to get married? Or you don’t want to have kids? Does this mean you’re not a “real woman”? You can’t let society’s definitions of womanhood keep you from doing what you want to do with your life. These definitions have become ingrained in our culture, but that doesn’t mean you have to subscribe to them. And even if you subscribe to them, don’t wait until you “feel like a woman” to start living like one. Start living like the woman you want to be right now. And if others don’t understand or disapprove of who you are, ignore them. They’re probably just misinterpreting your womanhood anyway.

You should never let anyone else define your womanhood.

The thing that makes you feel most like a woman is likely the thing you’re least like the other women you know. For example, some women may feel most like a woman when they’re caring for others or being nurturing. Others may feel most like a woman when they’re being strong and independent. Still, others may feel most like women when they are sensual, wearing makeup, or dressing up in different outfits. Whatever makes you feel most like a woman, don’t let anyone else take that away from you. For example, if you feel most like a woman while nurturing others, don’t let anyone say that’s not “feminine” enough. If you feel most like a woman when you’re strong, don’t let anyone tell you that’s unfeminine. If you feel most like a woman wearing makeup or dressing up, don’t let anyone call you vain.

Don’t wait to be happy – you are enough right now.

If you’re unhappy in your current situation, you may think you need to wait until you’ve achieved some milestone (like graduating from school or landing a promotion at work) to be happy. Or you may think you must wait until you’ve resolved a conflict or finished a difficult task to be happy. Whatever the reason, you may be waiting for happiness to come to you rather than going out and getting it for yourself. Don’t wait until you’ve achieved some milestone to be happy. Be happy right now because you are enough right now. You don’t need to “become” someone else to be happy – you just need to embrace who you are and what you’re experiencing in the present moment. Don’t wait to resolve a conflict to be satisfied. Instead, be happy now and use the things that make you unhappy to fuel your happiness. Instead of waiting to be satisfied when you “win” the conflict, be happy now while you’re “losing” it.

Women can be strong and vulnerable at the same time.

You may have heard the saying, “Strong women lift other women up.” This is true, but it’s essential to also recognize that women are allowed to be both strong and vulnerable. They can be sensitive and open while also being strong and resilient. Women aren’t always soft and empathetic. They can also be strong and decisive. And women aren’t always logical and rational. They can be intuitive and emotional, too. Women are dynamic, powerful, and diverse. And you should embrace your inherent womanhood, whatever that means for you.

Women can be caregivers and leaders at the same time.

Being a caregiver is a feminine trait, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t a leader. Women can handle feminine traits like caring for others and being sensitive, as well as masculine traits like being strong, decisive, and rational. Women can be both at the same time. Don’t let the stereotypes and preconceptions about what it means to be a woman hold you back from being a caregiver and a leader. You’re allowed to be both, so embrace your inherent womanhood. Don’t try to take on the stereotypes of both caregiver and leader simultaneously. Instead, carefully choose what you want, and do it well.

There’s no perfect definition of what it means to be a woman. There’s only the journey of discovering who you are, what you stand for, and what you want to do with your life. This journey is long, but the destination is worth it!