Reminder #6 I’m allowed to have needs and express them.

 

Are you the kind of person who feels guilty about wanting nice things or needing things to be happy and fulfilled? Do you feel like if you’re not happy with little or nothing, then you should be willing to settle for less? Are you afraid that someone will see you as greedy if you admit that money and material possessions make you happy? Do you feel as though society has programmed us all to believe that only shallow people care about designer clothes, expensive cars, and big houses? We all have things we like and things we need. And it’s okay! You don’t need to feel bad about liking nice things — in fact, it makes life better. But so many people beat themselves up for wanting or needing those things.

Why Is It So Hard to Give Yourself Permission To Want Things?

This is a tough question to answer, but it’s a common one, so we’ve got to get to the bottom of it. We live in a world that has placed a large focus on minimalism and living in accordance with your means. As a result, we’re raised to believe that it’s greedy to want nice things and that you have to have a “higher purpose” to deserve more than the bare minimum. This is incredibly damaging to people who want more out of life than just the basics. It’s also incredibly harmful to the environment, as people who believe this are more likely to buy less, reuse more, and recycle more. We also see a higher rate of participation in social and political causes as a result of this way of thinking, which is exactly what we need in our world right now. But when it comes to the idea that society has programmed us all to believe that only shallow people care about designer clothes, expensive cars, and big houses, we have to ask ourselves: is this true?

4 Reasons You Don’t Feel Good About Wanting Things

- You want to be modest: If you were raised to believe that modesty is a virtue, then you might feel as though wanting nice things is wrong. After all, if you want to be modest, you would want to avoid being greedy.

- You want to not be seen as materialistic: If you’re worried that someone will see you as materialistic, you’re less likely to allow yourself to want more than you need.

- You have low self-esteem: If you have low self-esteem, you might feel as though you don’t deserve nice things and that you’re too greedy to want them.

- You’re focused on your responsibilities: If you have a lot of responsibilities, it might be difficult to want more than you actually need.

- You’re worried about what other people think: If you’re worried that someone will see you as greedy for wanting nice things, then you’re less likely to want things that are beyond what you need. - You believe that only shallow people care about designer clothes, expensive cars, and big houses: We’re getting to that in a few minutes.

2 Strategies to Help You Give Yourself Permission To Want Things

- Start a gratitude journal: A gratitude journal is a great way to remind yourself of everything good in your life. It’s also a great way to give yourself permission to want more. Every day, write down at least three things you’re grateful for. You can start with the obvious things, like your health or your family, or you can start to dig a little deeper. What are you grateful for in your career? Your education? Your home? Your car? Your hobbies and interests? Your friendships?

- Write down your dreams: Whenever you’re feeling a little down about your life or you’re struggling to give yourself permission to want more, open up a document and write down your dreams. What do you want out of life? What do you want your life to look like? What do you want your future to look like? And then, shut your eyes and imagine that your dreams are already a reality. How does it make you feel? Does it help you to give yourself permission to want more?

3 Strategies for When You Need Things To Be Happy and Fulfilled

- Get clear on what you need: If you don’t know what you need, it’s incredibly difficult to get it for yourself. If you’re struggling to give yourself permission to want more because you don’t know what you need, sit down and make a list of everything you need. You can start with the basics, like food, water, and shelter, and work your way up from there.

- Get help from people who care about you: If you’re struggling to give yourself permission to want more because you’re worried that someone will judge you for it, or you’re worried that people will think less of you for it, talk to the people in your life who care about you. Let them know what you’re struggling with and ask them to give you permission to want more. You don’t have to do this alone.

- Focus on what you’re grateful for. If you’re worried that you don’t deserve to have more or that you don’t deserve to want more, journal about the things you’re grateful for in your life. What have you been given? What have you been given that you don’t deserve? Focus on those things. They’ll help you to give yourself permission to want more.

When you give yourself permission to want and need things, you open the door to a better life. You’re able to pursue your passions, you’re able to find happiness in your daily life, and you’re able to make your dreams come true. So don’t beat yourself up for wanting nice things — in fact, it’s a good thing!